batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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