I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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