I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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