Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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