You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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