Where is the hickey?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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