I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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