your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
