it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
