your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
