i just google imaged poop.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
