New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
operation have a gay friend backfired
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
