The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
