Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize