so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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