you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
