sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
