did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize