she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
