I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Define "chronic" masturbator.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
