I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
