I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
