my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
