What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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