Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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