Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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