i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
