this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
