I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
