Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
