did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Non-Jews are for practice
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize