If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
