i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
