actually, I'm a sock model
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
