herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize