we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just invented taco cereal.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
