Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
