weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize