Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
