It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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