Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We are two peas in an std pod
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
