how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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