You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize