you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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