so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
