Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This is my gift to your gina
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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