Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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