There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
