dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
