we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
