i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
