i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I love you.
Bad choice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
