Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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