my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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