Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
