Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize