they need to just BURY HIM!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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