she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
