just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Pooping to opera.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
