Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
