shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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