bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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