whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
