Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
