I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize