Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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