Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
