And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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