and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
